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Thursday
29th
March 2007
Day 9 -
Where's Ted? Ted's Dead Baby, Ted's Dead..
Opps.....!
'E's not
pinin'! 'E's passed on! This Teddy is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's
expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests
in peace! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's
kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain
and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-TEDDY!!
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Gone
to the big toyshop in the sky.. |
Comment
| Posted by The Kidnapper | Mar 29th 2007
Wednesday
28th
March 2007
Day 8 -
Hammer Time
You cant
touch this..
Due to the
level of threats received (see the comment box on the right) the kidnappers have decided to get violent with
Teddy. Also Teddy looked at them 'funny' so they smashed his face with a
claw hammer. And they are drawing lots to see what part of Teddy is
removed first.
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That's gotta hurt.. |
Comment
| Posted by The Kidnapper | Mar 28th 2007
Tuesday 27th
March 2007
Day 7 - Day
off
...more
tomorrow. Off for a night of Poker and a curry. Teddy's got some wee to
drink, and a biscuit.
Comment
| Posted by The Kidnapper | Mar 27th 2007
Monday 26th
March 2007
Day 6 - Final
request
The Kidnappers patience
is beginning to wear thin, and it looks like Teddy has had it. He's been
given a last request, and that request was a fag. Unfortunately we
couldn't find and homosexual men so a cigarette would have to do.
Look at the doom in his
eyes, has he given up? Will Daryl respond?
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Avey
Vous Smokie Ze Beeg Chap? |
STOP PRESS - Word has been received
from Daryl:
To
the person who has Teddy.
You
must let him go. Teddy is a kind and honorable teddy (well apart
from that one time in Bangkok & he was drunk)
He
has so much to live for. Please don’t publish anymore lewd
pictures, his parents might be watching.
Is
he too late to save Teddy? Keep Watching..
Comment
| Posted by The Kidnapper | Mar 26th 2007
Sunday 25th
March 2007
Day 5 -
Humiliation
Now it gets serious! Teddy
has been forced to get his 'meat & 2 veg out' (although it looks like
a TV Remote control and 2 Cadbury's Creme Eggs) and been made to 'pose'
for the camera 'Abu Ghraib' stylee. We still have not heard from his
master so can only assume he does not care or is about to attempt a rescue
mission. Continued silence will force the publication of more revealing
pictures.
Although we all know the
picture is Teddy - we have preserved a little of his modesty.
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Plums
out for the lads |
Comment
| Posted by The Kidnapper | Mar 25th 2007
Saturday
24th
March 2007
Day 4 -
Squashed
Help! Teddy cannot breath
too well, he's being squashed in the door, and it can only get worse. He's
gasping for air...
Want to make him breath
easier? You know what to do..
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Cant....breath....
too...... well...... slipping..... away....... |
Comment
| Posted by The Kidnapper | Mar 24th 2007
Friday 23rd
March 2007
Day 3 - Pegs
Ever wondered what the
world record for pegs on a Teddy is? Shall we see if Teddy can stand
anymore pegs? Maybe we should attach some to his 'bits'.
Then attach the
electrodes.
Daryl, you can stop Teddy's pain.......
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Dear
Lord, the next peg goes on my Teddy Man Bits! |
Comment
| Posted by The Kidnapper | Mar 23rd 2007
Thursday
22nd
March 2007
Day 2 -
Permanent Marker
See the great big black
permanent marker pen? Well how about we draw all over his face with it,
maybe a comical Mexican Tache? Or black teeth, or even a pirates eye patch?
Daryl, whats he worth?
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| No!
not the pen! |
Comment
| Posted by The Kidnapper | Mar 22nd 2007
Wednesday
21st
March 2007
Day 1 - We've Got
Him !
Instructions
will follow. Keep checking this page for updates. No demands have been
made yet, these are still being considered. How much is Teddy worth?
Dont bother
informing the rozzers... They cant help ya.
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Oh
God Help me! |
Comment
| Posted by The Kidnapper | Mar 21st 2007
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The amount of people that have seen Teddy today is:
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Comments
Box
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Posted by Marian Smith -
29/3/07 @ 1018hrs
Is this just another trick picture by the Kidnapper, to make us all
think that Teddy is no longer with us. Did anyone hear anything, Teddy
surely would have been making lots of noise 'HELP ME, HELP ME' in
the hope that someone would go to his rescue. He would not have gone
quietly, he was born in Glasgow you know.
I agree with the comments
from anonymous, Kidnapper why haven't you issued a ransom note?
To Grumpy of Chingford -
why oh why has one not contacted Connor for his Rescue helicopter, it
has a winch and everything and is in good working order, it would/could
have saved Teddy. Up here in jockland we take these things
seriously and don't like to see people in trouble, be very
frightened, Mrs B is on her way and has back up in the form of L &
C.
Message to owner of Teddy,
you've been very quiet through all this, does Teddy not mean anything to
you, or are you secretly plotting a rescue mission all of your own?
Marian Smith
Stirling Council
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Posted by Hazel Wilkes -
29/3/07 @ 0722hrs
Mrs B
gets to the big smoke tomorrow, she is going to hunt you down……
You
will have to start sleeping with your eyes open coz when she finds
you……
And
another thing……
She wants his ear, his leg and his eyes back, as that is all she
has left!!!!
You
B***^&D…………………….
RIP
KIDNAPPER!!!!!
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Posted by Shell Wilkes -
27/3/07 @ 1732hrs
OOHHH NO poor teddy ;-( as yeah that does look like it hurt,) I
consulted with my connections in the 'rozzers' and they have said that
it looks like the owner of the teddy could have a case under the sec 5
'public disorder act' at the very least!!!....not to mention
kidnapping violence and actual body harm with intent!!!!. :-)
I love it....poor teddy
:-/.
Michelle.....
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Posted by Hazel Wilkes -
28/3/07 @ 0754hrs
Kidnapper,
Duh!!!! On looking back, you have not even issued a ransom for
Teddy…… Call yourself kidnapper, huh I would call
yourself a joke instead!!!!!
Anonymous……………..
(I
know…….my name comes up at the end!!)
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Posted by Terry Wilkes -
28/3/07 @ 0124hrs
Hello Ted (RN)
That kidnapper person is not very bright is he?!
Everyone knows that you are'nt a 'Hammers' Fan (West Ham)! Ha, Ha,
chortle, giggle, snigger, OOp's sorryTed.
Rescue attempt still at Drawing board stage, But dont give up hope (Yet).
Test Flight of Action Man
Helicopter is scheduled ASP! Slight hitch, cos
'Grumpy' of Chingford planted up his Hanging Baskets yesterday (Look
Very nice too!) Cut Front lawn today, Very Smart, but is now too bl...y Kn......d
to Wind upElastic Band!
Message to 'Marion' of Sterling (Jockland)
Cousin Thomas was dispatched to the Conservative Club
to recruit a 'Pilot' for aforesaid Helicopter from
among the Ranks of the Royal Flying Corps/RAF Veterens (Corpse) being the
operative word!) Unfortunately he seems to have gone AWOL as he has not
been seen since last Saturday Night! Probably found a Stash of Red
Vino. .Hic! " SARN'T MAJOR!" 'Put that Man on a Charge! ' Yes
SIR! I am preparing the AF252 at this moment SIR!"
"Shoulders back and keep a stiff upper Lip Ted (RN)" (
I said Lip, LIP! TED!!!!!! Sigh, can't get the staff
these Days!
Enjoyable Breakfast this Morning? Scrambled eggs onToast, Toast and
Marmalade, Fruit Juice / Coffee /Tea??
Hang on, HA, Ha, (Pun) in there old Chap!
'Grumpy' of Chingford.
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Posted by Hazel Wilkes -
27/3/07 @ 0815hrs
Kidnapper,
be afraid, be very afraid……………
Mrs B has got her
flight details, and when she gets to the Big Smoke she his going to hunt
you down for what you have done to her man, and she is going to make you
wish you had never been born!!!!! You have been warned!!!!!!!
Mrs B
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Posted by Marian Smith -
26/3/07 @ 1315hrs
Kidnapper I think you
are being very cruel Teddy has had a hard life having to live on
luxurious cruise ships, with Daryl, and getting to see the same
place week in and week out, enjoying endless sunshine and
not having to do very much except lying around in the sun and
watching all the beautiful people go by.
Please let Teddy go,
Connor and Lauren will be so upset if he isn't returned to Daddy, and
returned soon, they love him very much (Teddy that is!), cousin
Thomas please speak to Connor for a loan of his helicopter so that
a rescue attempt can be made before it is too late.
Marian Smith
Stirling Council
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Posted by Daryl Wilkes -
26/3/07 @ 0111hrs
To the person who has
Teddy RN (SM)
Be warned, I have alerted the SBS & the full NAAFI Canteen Staff to
amount a rescue mission.
As soon as they have dug
out all the mothballs from their equipment & got a loan off the
Government for some fuel.
They are coming in their
vintage 1960’s Jolly Green Giant. Fully armed with state of the
art British Army SLR’s
(they had to pawn their
SA80’s for food last month)
This
is your last chance – Let Teddy go, or the full weight of the NAAFI
Slags will bear down on you!
Also, I have requested
the best trained lethal killers from the Royal Navy Submarine Service.
Once they have got them
All out of the IMPs in
Helensburgh & Boobs in Plymouth. These highly trained, fit,
lean, mean lovers of woman, killing machines
Are going to hunt you
down like the dog you are.
You will rue the day you
kidnapped a Submariners Teddy. Silent but Deadly……….Do you
sleep with one eye open…..You should start…………
Teddys Daddy
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Posted by Freddy Alldritt -
25/3/07 @ 1517hrs
I think you should let
poor teddy go......poor teddy's bits look like cadbury creams eggs?? I
hope I am on everyone's Easter egg list!!!!!. Poor
teddy.
Love Freddy (don't tell
mum I call myself 'Freddy')
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Posted by Shell Wilkes -
25/3/07 @ 1452hrs
OOOHHH
NO poor teddy :-( I thought of him while I cuddled up with my teddy last
night...were can 'Ted' be I wonder??.....
Whats gonna happened next?
a leg or chest wax??? .or worse maybe?.
I wonder why Daryl is not
answering the Blackmail notes?...maybe he is worried that he will have
to get his 'wallet' out and buy a drink?....or maybe he has problems admitting
he has any form of an emotional attachment to a teddy bear???.
Daryl if you want any help
from the 'Rozzers'. let me know as I have some connections in that area
;-p. But
blackmailer.. .pplleeaassee don't hurt 'teddy' or his 'plums'. ..pppooorrr
'teddy'.. hehheheh :-).
Hugs......Jim Plod...AKA
Michelle.
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Posted by Terry Wilkes -
25/3/07 @ 0253hrs
TED, All is not lost! We
have secret weapon! Cousin Thomas who posted on behalf of concerned
Grandson, used to be in the REME! He is
working hard, night and day to find a solution to
'Action Man' Helicopters engine problems. He has
major problem.....There aint no engine! Gulp!. Plus
fact he cannot see straight owing to elegant buckets
of RED WINE!.
NO problem.....We are working on new design!
Elastic Band power! Who thought of this? YES yours
truly!. But! Sorry Ted (RN) May be a wee delay in
rescue attempt...WHY? Cos 'Grumpy of Chingford suffers from a condition
called the.. Arthur... (Arthritis) which restricts his winding up of
Elastic Band! However....Do not lose hope...We will prevail.
PS. How was Breakfast. .Deviled kidneys and Kedgerrie?
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Posted by Thomas Wilkes -
24/3/07 @ 1337hrs
Michael Wilkes
Rodrigues says the teddy cant even breath, leave the poor thing alone!
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Posted by Terry Wilkes -
24/3/07 @ 0233hrs
AH......Be warned
kidnapper!
Mrs B.....Mrs B? has appealed for you to extend some mercy, (To
'his' Bits) She is not to be messed with! A Celt, (Them SSSSScotish
persons) Very fiery! If she
finds you,..... rescue's Teddy,,,,,Highly probable she will amputate your
'Bits!!!!!
TED (RN) Help on way! Remember.....Number, Rank, Name that's all you have
to divulge....Geneva Convention you know.
Trapped in door? Cannot breath? Breath through ears, like you would with a
Teddy 'Lovely'! How was was breakfast today, full English?
Regards.
Grumpy (Of Chingford)
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Posted by Hazel Wilkes -
23/3/07 @ 1649hrs
Mrs
Bear is now on the case, and as soon as she can get a flight she is
coming down to find her teddy boy!! But before then please dont
ruin his teddy man bits and peg them, what would she do
then!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mrs B xx
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Posted by Terry Wilkes -
22/3/07 @ 0058hrs
You unspeakable
Fiend !!!!!!!!! How could you torture this poor, defenceless Teddy?
....... Ex Royal Navy, Served his Country (Girl Teddy in every Port)
" I Love you long time Teddy". He will never buckle under
your torture!
SAS, Para's, NHS, Salvation Army, Queens Own Buffs, Dental Corps,
AA, RAC, Chelsea Pensioners, Home Guard
and Social Services on ALERT!..... MOD/Admiralty
assembling 'Action MAN Helicopter', being glued
together as we speak.
Rescue attempted imminent!!! Extreme Force will BE used!
(Incontinent Pads permitting).
We will Never submit! |
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Posted by Terry Wilkes -
22/3/07 @ 0120hrs
Hello TED,
(Royal Navy).
I regret, cannot carry out rescue at this time, Am on
vacation in the Carribean. At this moment on Board MS Westerdam,
OHHHHH! Lot's of 'Teddy' Lovelies on board, must close now, Captains
COCKtail Party to go to!
Regards.
SUPER TED.
PS. "Hope you are safe and Well".
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Posted by Amanda Wilkes -
22/3/07 @ 0805hrs
OH PLEASE
NO!! Not the bear, anyone but the bear!
P.S. Give him
eyebrows! And an earring!
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Posted by Terry Wilkes - 21/3/07 @ 0028hrs
"Infamy!
Infamy! They have all got it in for me!"
'Help me SuperTed! SuperTed!....... RESCUE ME! These people are utterley
butterley, ruthless and without Pity!!!!!!!
Ted Bear. 12 Years before the Mast.
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